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Sensible Book Review Let us Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships Melvin Ballard 22274758 Dr . Marcus Tanner In partial fulfillment of the requirements of Introduction to Pastoral Therapies PACO five-hundred Liberty Baptist Seminary Lynchburg, VA 4/7/2013 SUMMATION David C. Petersen book, Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships surmised good conversation skills could be achieved through active being attentive, understanding in the part of the talker and the attitude of the listener.
This process of showing and attaching can be attained through our acceptance and valuing one other. The word communication derives in the root to “commune, they have at least two levels- sharing information and attaching with other folks (Petersen, 2007, 18). Effective listening allows a person to actually hear what is staying said, this kind of invites the talker to feel like they are valued. By active listening gives a person the ability to interact and communicate that will bring about healthy and balanced and productive relationships.
This guide is a road map to supporting people figure out how to engage in confident communication and foster wholesome relationships. Petersen explored how to become a better communicator by making use of various equipment, the flat-brain theory, the talker-listener card and checking out various tuning in techniques. Petersen explained the concept flat-brain theory as feelings that are displayed in our tummy, heart and brain. The mind is the central area of the communication that’s where we find and form our words to state.
The head functions incorporate considering, planning, knowing how, reviewing, determining, rationalizing, that which we consider the logical element of us (Petersen, 12). Petersen describes the stomach because the mental area where we contain past harm feelings, thoughts of inadequacy, worry, anxiety which leads not to being able to retail store anything lots of new things (23). The cardiovascular is the operation of a person. How we function depends on how our center is whether healthy or bad. When our bodies goes out of whack Petersen refers to it as the Flat-brain syndrome.
He describes it while our abdomen expand with mixed emotions which cause the heart to turn into stones sending our relating ability to respond wrongly and ultimately the way up expansion from your heart causes our minds to flatten to the top of our head (23). A fantastic communicator can balance these types of stimuli’s that creates one to turn into out of kilter. Petersen uses examples of how to make sure one is able to stay in control of his emotions, his actions and his arguments. The talker-listener process engages visitors to take turn in talking and listening.
Petersen developed the talker-listener credit card in hope of marketing individuals to enhance the ability to communicate and connect better. The is placed in between two people or groups as well as the side that has talker the face or group will talk while the other side listens. After the talker finishes the card is overturn to give the additional an opportunity to talk while the various other side or perhaps person listens. This tool keeps a person or a group from talking and some are chatting i. at the. everyone is talking and no is listening. As the saying will go we can all sing at the same time nevertheless we all cannot talk concurrently.
Petersen developed this idea in order to quit flat-brain tong. The rest of Why Don’t we Pay attention Better? Conversing and Attaching in Interactions deals with associated with the development of very good communication abilities. However , Petersen notes that good communication hinges on authentic hearing techniques (115). REFLECTION My spouse and i started playing sports after i was five years old, I’ve always had a competitive mother nature about me. I guess it needs to do with having an identical twin sibling, always planning to outdo him. With that competitive nature I usually wanted to win.
In reading Petersen’s publication I noticed my competitive nature causes me to win challenges but drop the battle. Even in discussions (arguments) I have to succeed. Petersen states, this is unhealthy when I select not to esteem the feelings of others moving via a friend to a victor (40). The book describes the feeling of a ‘thud’ this is the preliminary clue that a person feels when they sense they are getting attacked. I understand the feeling, that causes me to respond in a shielding way. In college I actually lost a lady friend and did not realize she was trying to help me and it absolutely was for my good and benefit. I saw it as her pondering she was better than me.
Petersen states that instead of reacting adversely but acknowledging what could be bother your partner begins the downshift by anger to resentment (43). I know what they are feeling, so why do I respond in a adverse manner since I see the person because attacking me personally. In protection I affect back. In many times and different occasions I discovered myself applying words that were not helpful but hurtful. I believed they were targeting me using their words therefore in return I felt justified to strike them. RESEARCH The new lingo Petersen uses to describe the impression within a person is stimulating and grateful.
He does not use the normal therapeutic conditions but uses everyday person words to talk about and make clear his situations. Petersen has brought a new clean perspective inside the communication version. Petersen uses such fundamental elementary tactics that will help a person to become a better communicator. Petersen stimulates you to use the finger technique when you are troubled with an individual in order for happened to be accusing or blaming. Wow, how uncomplicated but deep at the same time. The Talker-Listener cards is a great device to use in promoting healthy connection skills.
This individual uses the as a video game in which individuals or teams can enjoy in order to have an efficient moment of sharing. As we look at each of our total man, spirit, heart and human body dealing with the soulically part, which the emotions is we can match Petersen because by utilizing his concept. When we feel like someone is doing harm to us through words prior to we react allow the Holy Spirit to regulate our tongue. The Publication of Adam 3: 6, calls the tongue a fire, a world of iniquity it’s the unruly untamable member of the body. Applying Petersen’s techniques and concepts can help us to manage our tongue.
We can not be imitators’ of Christ if we allow the words to destroy and not build up. Christ edified using words. His words ministered grace for the hearers. Since representatives of Christ we should not cry the O Spirit which will seals us to the day time of redemption. We grieve the O Spirit whenever we allow tainted communication that can come out of the mouth, which in turn does not edify or minister grace to the hearer (Eph. 4: 29). APPLICATION We have to Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships provides challenged me to change my own habit of not positively engaging in great communication.
Like a good audience will find the money for me for taking focus to other’s fascination and not just acquire. I had a chance after reading in applying what I learned. Petersen is right I was capable of use it successfully a few times and never at other times. I use already purposed in my center to change my thoughts about the way in which I choose to communicate. This guide has faced me with developing my personal communication skills through effective listening and recognizing how i could be able to help someone inside their time of will need. It will be good for me to place this greeting card in my wallet look at it when I feel I am just feeling that action inside my stomach.
This will allow me to pay attention to the requirements of the other instead of my feelings. I will certainly not be a great communicator if I choose to let my emotions to control my actions that could ultimately modify my discussion. I must recognize through the Ay Spirit’s leading, when He nudges me, I need to began to modify my attitude and put utilized techniques that will allow me to turn into a better participator in conntacting others. Once I have discovered this method I am able to share it with others whom find themselves throwing harmful, harmful, and gruesome words in a love one.
As proverbs 15: one particular, reminds us, grievous words blend up anger but a soft answer transforms away difficulty. A good communicator learns to know with his inner ear, the Holy Soul. Petersen, Wayne C. 2007. Why Don’t We Listen Better? Interacting & Connecting in Human relationships: Portland, OR PERHAPS: Petersen Newsletter Practical Book Review Grading Rubric Name: Criteria| Points Possible| Points Earned| General| Newspaper adheres to TRS formatting (title web page, in-text info, References webpage, etc . ) Correct Record Name. Rubric pasted in. 10| | Writing is obvious with appropriate grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Headings happen to be appropriately marked. | 10| | Summation (no more than 500 words)| The author and chapter(s) happen to be identified. | 10| | Concise summation with no personal reflection about content is usually provided. | 10| | Reflection (no more than two hundred fifity words)| Personal life experience is utilized. 1st person usage (“I is used). | 10| | Investigation (no a lot more than 300 words)| Discussion relating to how the material interfaces with model of personhood and assessment is present| 10| | Thought-provoking inquiries are posed. 10| | Positives and negatives are discussed. | 10| | Application (no more than three hundred words)| Specifics are included concerning just how this information informs the process of checking/controlling student’s particular DISC relational style. initial person (“I) usage is suitable. | 10| | We have a description that indicates what action will probably be taken or what replace the student will certainly make to influence his or her personal and professional growth and development. 1st person (“I) consumption is appropriate| 10| | Total: | 100| | Instructor’s responses:
